Our parallel universe

Dear Nicholas

If only it was possible to have another universe out there where everything would happen exactly as it would in this one but with a slightly different outcome. You were born a healthy beautiful baby boy on this very day. 

This is our parallel universe. 

It's 2am in the morning. I wake up feeling slightly different. I am tossing and turning, unable to sleep due to my gigantic belly. I feel anxious and a little scared. The hours are ticking by so I decide to get out of bed. Feeling exhausted, I drag my heavy feet to the kitchen with this weight in my stomach. I look down and notice that my belly has dropped. It's time. It has to be time. 

Of course, the hunger pains of pregnancy kick in and I forget about everything. I am on the attack. The light of the fridge shines bright. Yes, it's 6am in the morning, and yes, I am eating olives. Who in their right mind would tell a pregnant lady she can't do that and that she is crazy? I know I wouldn't. So I open the jar and off they go, one by one. Satisfied. 

I am staring at my cupboard about to get dressed. A feat that every full term pregnant lady knows is an exhausting event. First, it is picking out your tent like clothes. Then, it is trying to find the energy to actually put them on. Trying to reach your toes to put your socks on or pick up your legs to put your pants on. An hour later and you are done. Socks, shoes and pants on. Now for the other half. 

I stand there looking in the mirror watching you dance and kick in my belly to my favourite song of the day. A big smile planted on my face. My heart is glowing. I think to myself, today could be the day we get to meet our little guy. I am staring into space, imagining what you would look like. What colour your eyes would be? Will you have a mop of hair? I feel a strange sensation and I know it's time to call the doctor. 

Off I go, excited to get to the doctor. Maybe it's nothing, but maybe, just maybe we are having a baby today. I am cruising the winding roads, staring ahead at our exhilarating future. I reach for my phone and call your dad. "Don't worry Hubby, it's probably nothing." "It's probably just false labour like the three times before." He smiles on the other side and says, "I am on my way."

Seated in the bright sunshine filled reception area, I wait. Oh how I can not contain my excitement. You have been tap dancing around in my belly the whole drive. "Ouch!" There goes one in the ribs. "Thanks baby boy." I see the doctor come around the corner with her calming smile and easy nature. She calls me in. She says through her smile, "Let's just scan our little fella and see how his doing." I leap onto the bed. 😜 Oh come on, I'm pregnant. My movement is like moving a ten ton whale on a beach. I slowly left myself up, one big heave, one big breath and I'm up, lying on the bed. The screen comes alive and there you are. The sound of your strong beating heart. Our son showing us his humour with his tiny peace sign like always. 

I am lying there, thrilled but nervous. The doctor turns to me with a glow on her face and  I hear the best words a mom could hear. "It's time, your baby boy is coming." I jump off the bed, well I think I jump. I waddle to my phone and dial your dads number. He answers in one ring. " It's time Hubby. We are having a baby." "I am running up the stairs" is all I hear behind an out of breath, nervous but happy laugh. 

Our family is notified. Our friends are called. Excitement is in the air. We are booked into a private room. Our little baby hotel room for three days.

And now we wait. 

My contractions have started to cause me some discomfort. Sometimes I can talk through them, other times I have to breathe calmly. An hour later and I'm shouting instead of talking and the calm breathing has turned to a rapid pace and is not very calming. Your dad is beside me rubbing my back, telling me to focus on my breathing and not just make the sound. Oh, how I want to shout at him right now. But I can't, I'm making the sound of breathing for heavens sake. An hour later I'm screaming for the meds. "Give me the medicine." "I need the drugs." Your dad goes to the door and looks out. He tells me the anaesthetist is on his way. "I can see him," he says. That was an hour ago. But right now I don't know if a second, a minute or an hour has gone by. I'm just focusing on my breathing and moving my hips. 

My night in shining armour finally arrives with the miracle drug. He is all calm and collected in his green scrubs. I'm a nervous wreck in excruciating pain. Your dad has stopped coaching me as all I'm doing is screaming in pain and making funny breathing sounds. He is still attempting to rub my back though. The doctor takes out his big needle and tells me I'm going to feel a slight pressure. "I don't care at this moment just give me the drugs," I scream. 

Bliss. Absolute bliss. I can't feel my right leg. Then my left leg. It is all numb. Your dad looks into my big blue eyes and I'm smiling. A big fat smile. I lie down comfortably as if I am in my own bed, just with no feeling in my legs. I'm 5cm dilated. 5 more to go. What a difference. From agonising pain to drifting out to sleep with numb legs, but no pain. I'm on cloud nine. And then my water breaks. Well that is a weird and fascinating sight. 

I wake up as the nurse arrives to check up on me. She looks up at the machine monitoring my contractions and an amazing look crosses her face. "It looks good." she says. I'm 10cm dilated. It's time. Both your dad and myself are elated. Now the hard work begins. 

I chase your dad to the top of the bed. There is no ways he is watching this event. I want him squeezing my hand and looking into my eyes up here at the head of the bed. I get the call to start pushing.


"You are nearly there." And then all we hear is a gushing sound. A wave of water splashing off the walls. All we see are the nurses and our doctor diving out the way. We both look at each other. "What was that?" your dad asks. "My mistake" the doctor says. "I told you to push while I broke another membrane." Well that was unexpected. Stitches of laughter fill the room. And then....

...Crying. Big loud beautiful crying. A sound so loud that I know you are my child. I look at your dad with tears running down both our cheeks. "Congratulations, you have a beautiful, healthy little son." 

We are holding you in our arms beaming with such pride, such happiness, such unconditional love. 10 fingers. 10 toes. The most perfect little nose and softest little feet. You look just like your dad, a splitting image. We have put you in your tiny orange bennie and bright orange outfit bought by your cousin Roxy. It's says, 'Done my time for 9 months.' Our family and friends come by to meet you. They hold you and you give them a little taste of your coolness. A little smile. A little rumble. A little gas. We are all radiating with happiness. 

"What's his name?" we are asked.  We respond, "It's Nicholas Jorge Piotis."

If only that was today.

Love Mom