Walking in these shoes

Dear Nicholas

Oh, how I miss you so. Walking this journey is just to hard. I feel like I am wearing the heaviest shoes in the world.

I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wake up and put them on, and I just wish I could have another pair. Some days these shoes hurt so bad that I don’t think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them.

Everyone I meet looks strangely at these shoes. Looks of sadness and sympathy. And I can tell by others eyes that they are so glad that they don’t have to walk in these shoes. They shy away from talking about my shoes as to learn how awful my shoes are, might make them uncomfortable.

To truly understand these shoes, you must walk in them. But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I do realize that I am not the only one wearing these agonizing shoes. There are many pairs in this world. Some moms are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them. Some have learnt how to walk in them so they don’t hurt as much. Some have worn them for so long that days will go by before they think of how much it hurts.

No mom deserves to wear these shoes. Yet, we were chosen to wear them. And in that, they have made me stronger. They have giving me the strength to face anything. They have made me who I am. Forever changed.

I will forever walk in these shoes, the shoes of a mother who has lost a child.

A mother that has lost her dear son.

Love Mom